just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize