Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
