just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
