The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
