I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
