No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
