I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize