they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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