oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
