hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize