He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
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I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I believe in your delicious
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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