no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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