It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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