She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my shit smells like andre
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
