You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
