wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
