I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
