Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
