How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
