Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i think my cat just said my name.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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