I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
