Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize