Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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