omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
