70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize