the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
you never un-have a 4some
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize