did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
