We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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