Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
