She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
