Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
bring money and cleavage
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
