thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
