i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
