OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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