I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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