Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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