remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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