When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
