shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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