and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
