Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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