dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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