Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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