Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
