Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
