If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
