I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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