so explain again why im purple
no
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
