and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
