it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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