dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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