when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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