question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
