My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
