so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
