I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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