So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
