VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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