it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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