Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you would pick up someone in the library
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
