I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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