I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
