the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
