Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
